perspective of an amateur

This is an attempt to make the loss of a friend more than just another memory down the memory lane... A prayer to remind us that we are responsible for all the people who quit on their lives.

"
I walk through the misty and dark country road
To destinations so vaguely known
I walk alone for the want of peace on this country road
To calm the storm in my mind blowing me down

Friends family; folks so many
Left to frown to the thought
Left to cry their pent up love
I have lost a friend, yet another falling one

A boy so happy so cheerful so funny
My friend I wished I could be.
All the tales we shared for the want of pun
About lost love and fantasies fetishes and more

Such was he, the most normal of beings
He left us all as he quit his being
For reasons so naive so foolish and feeble
He left us all, neglecting our pain

This verse is a prayer
A prayer to the strong ones
To spot the falling ones
To lend a hand, an ear in despair

Egoes, opportunists, whatever the reasons
People withold more than they can
As children under the sun
We are liable to spot the falling ones

I walk alone, guilty as a con
He slipped through my hands
I failed, I could have done more
Please help me god to spot the falling ones
to spot the falling ones.....

"

Every single day of every single week
Everyone wakes with this single thought
Today is the day, the day I am not so weak
The day I conquer the deamon so fiercly faught

Little do they realise it get stronger day by day
The deamon the dictator of thoughts prevails
Effortlessly keeping us mortals helplessly at bay
"Keep trying fools for I have ur reigns today"

Manifestations are many of the deamon
Some see it as smoking, some as thievery
some as adultry some as gluttony
Whatever the form everyone has atleast one.

Some triumph, some say they left it all behind
Some die trying, some get worse, some lose their mind
Some say they are in rehab, some claim acclaim
Whatever they say, doubtless they are astray from their aim

Probably the only way out is the way in
Make the demon the friend in sin
Look at the brighter side, it could have been worse
Love thee demons, take the perks, dont remorse

When does one artist realize that he has done enough.... The pure truth of this fact is that no one knows...

So when does an artist realize he should quit on a work. The love of the work in the progress is sometimes so empowering and captivating that he can work on it for ever. But the world is more than his work. He has predicaments, he has responsibilities, he has hunger, he has moodswings.
So what exactly makes him say "This baby looks nice"....

I say the predicaments of this world is what makes art look sort of lacking something. Is that a problem, well that topic is debatable. So what would make a perfect artist........

A true artist in his fullest potential in me opinion is one who is not constrained by the imperfections around his world and his responsibilities. Put in other words a fellow does not attach importance to the social norms and the chores he is supposed to do for the society that he lives in. Some one who has complete deniability in the end even after putting into his work something that has disturbing content,,, that is disturbing for others... Well i have to say the last statement regards art as a medium to pack a punch or SENDING A MESSAGE...

Some say too much of anything is not gud... well i really dont think this goes with art... well it is true that an artist can destroy his work by getting too 'ambitious'...
Really that needs to be looked into...... i mean if someone who spends 8 hours making a sketch can put in 2 more hours into it can make it better... or worse...
the really important thing here about coming up with something truly amazing is to have a detatchment.... not to get too personal with it. It is about not letting the feel of the finished work define who the artist is.

Most critics of todays art try to put across the definition of the work through the character of an artist. It is true that an artists person influence his work... but the reverse is rarely true. So unless a critic has a good understanding of the artists background he has no right to bridge his work with his character... The simple fact of the matter is the person is made in a much wider timespan in a much varied canvas than his work...

So then comes the obvious question of how to be a critic of art... well the answer is dont try to be... Artist improve on being judged by critics... but that comes at a cost of losing the individuality and sense of creativity... most often than not, artist who are judged try to please too many people he dont really care about.. and that my good reader is a disaster.

In effect art as a profession is bound to kill the true artist in the artist in due course of time. Because he is constrained by time, money and try to please too many people. And that leads to losing time and in time losing hope of coming up with self pleasing and creative content.

So true artist according to me are ones who are not really trained or better not taught... who are not trying to please... who are not being constrained... who are not afraid to be bold... and are not really fast... true artist my good reader are very hard to find... it may even be considered a utopian concept... But sometimes we can see real close approximations.

I warn u if u follow this blog this one is going to take some time to finish... it is bound to be a series of posts on related topics on views that are going to change with time n i dont do this because i m not worth my word, i do this because the things i write here are too serious to be correct in one draft. Before u continue reading this post, do read, as to y i embark on such a journey of finding myself a new religion in my previous post "open source religion. blabbings of an infidel"

now with the wierd title...
it is project mATH v1.0(pronounced em-aath).... y in the world that... ok now that i have already mentioned in my previous post this is both a project and a religion (better put as an opinion). i dint want the title of this opinion... or "matham" to do nething with religion.. because the word meaning of religion has to deal with "god" n i firmly believe there is a sense of correctness n definiteness in all the things under mathematics... hence "matham" n Mathematics is gud enuf reason for chosing the name mATH. mind u that the root meaning of the word "matham" in malayalam is opinion. now with the fancy v1.0... its to make it evident that this baby is subject to change n getting better in due time n after trial n error...

ok enuf of justifications....

This opinion which i ll later refer to as doctrine or religion(none of which actually do really mean what i d like it to mean) is all about the individual being the centre of the whole buisiness... so this one is an outward expanding expansion from individual to nething else....
So ther u have it the central idea of mATH v1.0
from individual to nething else...

now some clearing up to do... the word meaning of doctrine is "a belief or set of beliefs found authoritive by a group or school"... but by the word doctrine i have used here n in my previous post "open source religion. blabbings of an infidel" i mean what is authoritive by me n my readers who i accept to be sharing my feelings... (i know that it is a rather non deterministic subset... but hey my blog my idea... i got have some control...).
now coming to the word "religion": it is defined as "a strong belief in a supernatural power or powers that control human destiny" well then u d have to go about defining "supernatural" "power " "destiny" n so on... so wen i say religion i d want it to mean opinion(sweet n simple)...
now for words atheist n infidel...
atheist n infidel are rather strong words... that has an inborn negetivity in their word meanings...
atheist means "someone who denies the existence of god"
infidel means "a person who does not acknowledge your god"
but i d like them to represent something a lil less revoltingly negetive...
i ll use the terms infidel n atheist exchangably n both would mean "a person who has an opinion, that his life is based on, that is different from the ubiquitous opinions(what is ubiquitously known as riligion). n it is not his will to force his opinion on anyone."
i could coin words but that would just leave u searching for something u couldnot find.... hence the small substituitions.....

that cleared up now i proceed with mATMv1.0.
the idea of making some thing better is to make it simpler. rectify what is evidently (perspectively) not working(or wrong). So i d say this is an opinion that overrides certain aspects of a preexisting opinion. i would not go about judging other religions(opinions) because that would be wrong according to mATHv1.0 as u ll see l8r in this article.

ok enuf software engineering.. moving on to the second idea in mATHv1.0...
this opinion deals with what is in the real world... i mean to a world well defined and evidently obvious... this is a personal attribute... how much of the world is real to u.. so this religion(my word meaning only) is for realist...
so i define the idea as mATHv1.0 would leave room for a proper scientifically defined definition for things that seem unexplained now n fill in l8r wen such a definition comes.. instead of just trying to put all the unexplained into one answer (what religion calls god).
hence the second idea in short
accept only the real world, donot speculate on the unexplained, patience will answer.

The individual is the building block of the so called civilization though most civilizations fail to acknowledge it...and religion is only part of a bigger problem of civilization hence individual is covered for it as well in the predifined statement. before nething can better, the individual need to be better... now the question of who is the individual...
in accordance to the above rule accept only the real world... the individual may be defined as an entity (something that has existence in physical form as its own) which has human origins(i leave the present biology to deal with that without much trouble) in the sense human parents. n i leave biology to deal with the superficial definition of human.
but for completeness sake i define individual as human and may be(physically n mentally challenged included) capable of thought, n growth both physically n mentally.(i avoid spiritually to keep it simple... lets see if we can live without it for some time...)
an individual is one who is human and is capable of growth.

now for the rules that apply to the individual in mATHv1.0.
1. the individual should only take part in activities that gives him pleasure or benefit according to the conscience he possess(which i expect to be developed in a healthy manner thru education) without trying to conflict with others happiness n well being...
2. the individual should come into terms with the fact that life is short n ther is much to experience...
3. the individual should understand that his memory lasts only till he is dead n disposed of. so try his best to develop in all his favoured topics of study withing the time he has... hence the next major idea...
education should be the core focus of an individuals development
n
life is deterministic. find joy in the time u have.
n
ur joy should not result in direct conflict with others joy.
4. individual development can involve mental development and physical growth(living conditions covered here).
5. consider ur fellow being as an ok individual.
6. judging ne character other than self is a foul thing to do.
7. personal assessment disclosed to a fellow should be ur highest mode of introspect n self judgement.
8. individual should try n cope with the norms of higher institutions like schools society n state.
9. taking human life is unjustified under ne pretext. unless it is self defense.
10. self preservation is justified.
11. care for the ones that depend on u by the means at ur disposal. amassment of resources more than what is required is futile.
12. always help a fellow in need of help...(his self preservation questioned).
13. spread ur knowledge to others.
14. find a mate that u seem deserving.
15. women are equal to men in the rules... men should respect boundaries wen dealing with women unless permitted by the other.
16. children n the aged should be cared for.
17. parenthood should be carried on till child demands leave (after 15 years of age for the child).
18. physical assault is prohibitted under ne circumstance, unless self preservation questioned.
19. always have an idea of the society in which u live in. try n make the life of others better.
20. keep habits to ur self. never influence a person by force.
21. have an understanding of limitations n try to overcome it using resources available if it wont conflict with the other individuals.
22. ne individual in ur proximity is a fellow.
23. discriminating ur fellow man is a foul think to do..
24. children should be introduced to education.
25. suicide is prohibitted.
26. believe in science n try to use it to help ur fellow.
27. keeping urself busy in mentally n physically trying activities should be considered a favourable way to spend time.
28. speculating on the unexplained is not to be habitualised n should not be forced on a fellow.
29. the fellow is as important to u as ur self.
30. fantasy can be put as literature.
31. intoxication is not advised.
32. always find the difference between right n wrong with the fellow in mind.
33. be happy with what u earn. begging n theft are wrong doing.
34. be self rewarding with adherence to the rules.
35. if the individual find that mATHv1.0 is too tight for his proper development he should feel free to form his own religion that will result in no direct or indirect conflict with the existing social system n way of life.


well thats a start.

now for a change of the list lets come to the often asked question what is joy(eternal joy is an n p complete problem so then next best thing). joy is a personal feeling of being satisfied in some way(over simplified but approximate). joy can be tentatively acquired by the following ways...
1. completing what u started as an ambition.
2. thinking of the self as tool for development n achieve growth
3. indulge in physical pleasures till it is found futile.
4. gathering knowledge n spreading it.
follow the above tentative suggestions as long as ur fellow is untroubled by it.
n creativity in finding joy is never questioned in this regard as long as it doesnt break ne of the above rules for the individual.

this should be enuf for a start for a religion(i feel. some more thought on the clauses n additional clauses with some help from other individuals would cover most of the known). n leave unknowns as unanswered n indulge urself in more rewarding things than trying to speculate things. i have tried for a fast n non contradictary doctrine on life.. hence an opinion....

so ter u have it some principle conjured up by an infidel to believe n follow. i think i ll make the world around me a better place for both me n my fellow if i follow the above rules. n restrict my happiness to the confines defined or thereabouts...
less confusion.. less misinterpretation.... less trouble.

in my next post i ll try to put up the original conversation that triggered this project...

mATHv1.0 interim draft.

Being in the computer science fraternity and being a man who has found the norms of god religion n faith to be a story with too many loose end i m embarking upon a new project.
I have been considering myself as an atheist for sometime now... recently i had a conversation with a friend which made me realise one thing... neone can make a difference by doing a lot of unlearning...

The following content has a lot of things that are not all acceptable... so before u read forward u should ask urself some questions... 1. are u happy how the world works today, controlled by religion n ter gods... 2. does faith as we know it now really help solve nething... 3. does being an infidel makes sense to u.... i hope after u see these questions u get the nature of this post.

I give u the following things that have always puzzled me for the last 20 years.
I thought god was someone up ter who watched n l8r judged in the early years of my life... then wen confronted with some of the real problems in life i came to a more practical defenition on god: god was an entity, intangible and ever listening to our cries.. a sink to put away stress n trouble... someone to listen to without asking ne questions. But as i went deeper into the problem and saw that even my practical defenition for god is not helping much... i got really disturbed... then i thot being an infidel and not thinking too much was a solution.. n frankly it gave some gud results...

Now for a lil more on the whole infidel buisiness... Being an infidel from a later point of ur life is all about unlearning. kinda showing a "i dont give a rats ass" attitude to certain arguments that people have believed just because they been told to believe it. Well if u ask someone about it they'd say well nobody has proved it and nobody has proved it wrong... kinda like an n p complete problem. N then ter is this, lets say "real beleivers" who'd say ya i have proved it... atleast claim to have proved it... then ter is ther really crazy bunch who would even come up with material evidence of ter proof of the unexplained, who i dont even wanna talk about.
no offense but this story just doesnt make sense,,,, so many loose ends... so many voids in the narrative... less than satisfying plausibility.... n statements of that sort....
Then there is this really annoying transcending human habit of trying to extrapolate the unexplained. Y cant people live without worrying too much about the unexplained. Y cant people acknowledge the fact that there are things that we dont know. n be happy at that... (i would have said more on discovering the unexplained but that would just give room for misinterpretation.. n i m tired of misinterpretation.). So coming back to my topic of being an infidel n unlearning....:
All of us have a religion that is thrust upon us by our birth into a family n a religion thrust upon them due to ter birth n so on... n this teach us a lot of things n norms to follow/not to follow... n l8r wen u really think something is wrong they tell u shut up n keep being ignorant or not to search for a better option. So the actual point of conversion from faithful god fearning to infidel is wen u think "hey y cant i become better than this"... Well some consider this to be a sin of the fourth degree.. but i think its just plain common justifiable behavior... damn me for writing this if u want.. So the process of becoming an infidel starts with a lot of unlearning.

Then i really thought on the topic of religion.... started by searching word meanings... n i stumbled upon this word meaning for the word "matham" the malayam for religion... the root word means "opinion". Then i thot y did people come up with the whole religion business in the first place... n the only answer was to reduce the chaos in our root instincts...(then i read from somewer civilization is a temporary break to chaos). ok so the idea is we need something to follow or we ll alll just go haywire n go crazy. Now is ther a problem.... hell YES ther is a problem... todays religions are so damn unclear... people misinterpret there bottoms off.... n the result is all over the media...

so being an infidel means (atleast to me) boycotting the idea of a personally unacceptable religion n hence the god defined under it period... it has nothing to do with spreading the word or trying to influence, or even the extreme thing of retaliating.. But the real question does it help...
No.... now i think there should be rules of engagement in life... (engagement meaning to fight) everything in life is a fight (strictly personal opinion). so what should an infidel do..... come up with his own sensible opinion ("matham"==religion) n this is wer the becoming better comes from.... in fact the infidel if properly educated n brought up is bound to do the right thing cos he knows to distinguish the real dos n donts.

The open source movement in the world of computing has always caught my attention... y cant we just take it to a different level... how much does it take to come up with a religion..????
all u neeed to do to make a religion is to carve out the boundaries or extents of tolerence we could define for life activities n give room for positive development of the individual the society n the environment... (might be oversimplified but it is definitely a start.) So here i start developing my own religion or better say our "own" religion (addressed to all the infidels who agree with what i say). i use the next post to outline my doctrine or my opinion as a religion.. which is subject to positive n negetive criticism n subject to change, following the reviews i find interesting n sensible...

also i have made the title of this post to sound like a self criticism so as to appeal to the egos of the believers....

disclaimer: